Thought of the day - History in High School vs. College

As I am waiting for my Chinese style bento box, protected inside from the endless smokers on the streets of Taipei, I reflect on studying history in high school versus college.

I studied History in college. But in high school, I had no interest in history. Teachers’ spoon fed students history, fact by fact.  It was hard to chew and digest this bland, dry educational substance. We saw no relevance it had to our lives. What did war or what some guy did in the past have anything to do with us? The only thing I found mildly interesting about the past was our 11th grade History teacher's comments about how the girls and guys in the 50's liked to go "parking". Sometimes, after hearing about "going parking" for the umpteenth time, I  wondered if he was a pervert, but he seemed respectful enough otherwise.

If someone told me, while I was taking the most boring class in my entire high school experience a.k.a. history that I'd become a history major, I would not have believed them and then proceed to wonder if they were smoking pot. But crazier things have happened in my life. (My apologies, I am not at liberty to disclose)
The day I changed my mind about history, was the first day of Spring Quarter in a dimly lit archaic building, in a stuffy rectangular classroom with chairs squeezed tightly next to each other.  I wasn't expecting very much.  I needed to take a history class to satisfy a general education requirement, that was all. I was planning on making this my first and last history class I would have to take.

My first ever history class blew my mind. All I wanted was an easy class to satisfy a general education requirement. I wasn't expecting very much. But, what a surprise, my Chinese History Professor showed how fascinating history could be- the struggles, the intricacies, the stories. It was like watching an actor on stage, delivering an expressive monologue showing us a different world, a fascinating one. So history wasn't just a series of facts to be memorized? Whoa, Momma. It could be dynamic; it could come alive through stories, through experiences. History was personal. History, like many other subjects, in our public schools (at least when I was going), are heavily processed and manufactured in neat little packages of facts, questions and answers. What we are taught in school isn't really what real life is. There isn't any straightforward question or answer or path. There are no cut and dry answers that fit into a nice perfect box. It's not as easy as answering a dilemma as true or false, or choosing a), b), c) or d).

I think that's one of the reasons why I don't think I want to teach at a public school. Things are too rigid, things are too defined. But Life, by its very nature, is undefined.
If you know me, you know that I love African-American history, social/Women's history and the civil rights era. For some reason, I could identify with their struggles. I guess the part of feeling disempowered, but rising above it was impressive and powerful to me. Growing up, I was fortunate to have a lot of opportunities, but I also had a lot of experiences of feeling disempowered, of constantly feeling shamed or punished for voicing my own opinions if they were not the same as my mother's. I also experienced a lot of fear and anxiety that stemmed from my mom's own personal issues. I remember one summer she was so fearful; she wouldn't let me out to play at all. I remember I gained a lot of weight summer. And I'm pretty sure I did not see the sun for three months. Laugh out loud. But I was a happy kid by nature. That one isolated experience didn't bother me, much. It was the repeated episodes of fear, anxiety and negativity that would later bog me down, but for now this isn't relevant to discuss.

What I discovered in college- history was fascinating and dynamic, but it was also a sad subject. A lot of it is about suffering, people's experience of suffering. There are many stories of people suffering and triumphing past circumstances or not triumphing or being the unlucky ones. It can be sad. It can put things in perspective. Sometimes, you can learn from some of it. You can see how a lot of history repeats itself. And history, perhaps especially through memoirs and autobiographies, can serve to inspire you or help you through hardships. Maybe you don't feel so alone after you read someone's story. These are some things that I like about history. But if I had to teach history textbook format in a traditional public school.I don't think I would like it.
I've never been the one to fit into lines of conservativism. I don't think I've ever really fit into a group, let alone to fit in as a cog in the public school machine or corporate world. But hey, life is always unexpected. You never know. And right now I need a job. Or maybe I can become a Buddhist nun. Laugh out loud.